Yesterday night I needed to go for a walk. It's 8pm but I didn't care of the fact that it's night time already, I needed a time on my own to just be alone. I was strolling down the Rifle Range street and a lot of things came to my mind. Everything that has happened these few years, the memories are coming back one by one. The pain and the happiness I've went through. I wish i could turn back time. If only I could.. Then I would safe you. And if I couldn't safe you, I would have spent the entire time with you. I would tell you how much you mean so much not only to me but to us. I would not let you leave us.
If I could turn back time, I would never let this one person go. The first in my life. And right now it feels like you're the last one too. Because I was stupid and only now I realized how much I care for you. I watched it slipped away, I tried not to let it go but I don't know what happened. But I won't do the same thing again. Never. Because IWYB. I hope one day we can be like before. But a dream stays a dream.
Anyhow, as I was walking I thought to myself "So this is what Dexter was talking about". Walking alone at night sounds crazy but when you inhale that refreshing breeze, you suddenly feel so calm. You feel like you're in a different world, a world of peace and a place for your sanctuary. It has definitely cleared my thoughts and now I know that I need to move forward for what's ahead of me. Start with a baby step. Whatever the challenges may seem, everyone will endure it with great success if you have faith and hope. Be it your studies, your life, or anything at all. Challenges promise you one thing, that you'll become a better person and happiness will follow afterwards.
I've been thinking too much not only about the past but of the future. But someone gave this line in surah Al Noor (The light); what a coincidence of the name with mine; "Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women.."
I don't think I'm a vile person, but maybe I'm not all good. But I think I need a step back from all this world of madness and return to the path where I was at. For a start, Yasin always for Daddy and have happy thoughts constantly. With the help of the Almighty, I know I'm not alone and can always turn to Him for help. Goodnight everyone, I made bread pudding but it's late so gonna eat it for breakfast. Sleep tight. xx
CherryBee xx
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