J'adore

What a mad world we live in

2011-04-06T21:01:00.000-07:00

Little Saiful Syazani passed away 2 days after he was beaten by his own teacher (Ustaz) in a religious school. I do not wish to narrate the story here because it will only make me sad again. I'm writing this because somehow I can't accept the fact that this cruel action happens in this world. I got too emotional reading this that I teared up when reading the news. Yesterday I cried again for nearly one hour. It felt so personal. I had to call up 3 friends just to calm myself. It saddens me to see this boy had to go in such a cruel way. I was imagining what he was going through, his fear, and worse, the pain he was feeling. I was asking God please let his suffering at that time be just a moment. I feel like I wanna go back in time, save him and take him away from all the madness. How can people be such animals. The boy lost his mother when he was 3, and he was cared by his aunt. His life was short and very hard, but I know God loves you more, and I know you're in heaven now.

The guy who did this, a so called "religious teacher", I hope you know that God is fair and no matter how much you regret your action, you will have to pay for it. You accused the boy of stealing rm7. You accused him! You know what, confession 1, I stole some money too when I was maybe 9 or 10. I saw all my classmates had lots of pocket money and I only brought like rm1.50 to school. But I only took like extra rm5 from my mum's. But it was only for just a while, we were kids. That's why they are called kids, they can't think like we can. Plus I turned out well now. rm5 or rm7 isn't gonna make you a criminal. Killing someone who can't even fight back for his life, is More than a crime! You don't deserve to life, I hope the judge will prosecute you fairly. I wish you to die.

Little Saiful Syazani, I'm so sorry you had to go through such pain. I can never see any kid or animal gets abused. I have a little brother and even though I don't know you, I feel like you're a part of my family. I wish I could do something to stop this but I can't. And so I pray for you. Hoping you are happy now. Because I know even as I'm crying writing this, God is taking care of you.

Sabrina

010101: Futurama

2011-01-02T14:08:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! 2010 experience was honestly, Uh-maze-ing! But 2011 is more promising, hopefully. I'm so thankful I passed this one course that is so freaking hard. 50%-60% failure rate yearly with a class of only nearly 40 people is pretty scary. Thankfully, Alhamdullillah I made it. I have to be honest I didn't do well at all but not having to repeat the course is good enough. :)

Anyhow, Winter Break was awesome. I couldn't ask for anything more. Have to admit, everytime I say "Winter Break", there is this painful memories behind it, but we learn from the past and live for the present. I hope and wish everyone will have an amazing year ahead of them. Thanks to everyone who made this Holiday a memorable one especially Afian and Agnita! Heart you both!

Happy New Year and Stay In School People! Loves!

CherryBee xx

60 : Summertime

2010-05-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last posted here. It says there April 9th was the last one. Nearly 2 months eh. I don't really know where to start. A lot of exciting and amazing things happened and it will take forever to write them all. In short, it has been a blast!

The final exams were alright, got my results back and so far everything looks good. Two more courses with pending result though. So after the exam, we all had crazy times going here and there, not to mention the amount of money used in such a short time! But hey, I figured we all deserved it considering the exhausting period we've been through. I occured to me that while the exam was still going, I still managed to have fun at the same time and I think that's important. Balance.

I'll upload some pictures, if I remember to, to show a little thing or two of things we did. Next in store, Carassauga. It's a cultural event in Mississauga and it's happening next week. I wasn't thinking of joining but I guess something happened and I was like "okay sure thing". Lol. Well at least I get to learn this Malay traditional dance that I'll be performing during the event. Yay! Although I do have a sign "Caution: I can't dance" hanging all over me. :P I will try my best however!

So Farhanah left for Malaysia yesterday, aah the agony. Lol that's a bit too dramatic but yeah I always hang out with her in the house so it feels different, of course. On top of that I can't go visit Deela because the flight is too expensive and she has like 4days of classes in a week (during summer)!! But either way, I'll see you all at home alright. We gonna go for "bukak puasa" one of these days alright? Insyaallah. :)

Today I'm just relaxing in my crib watching movies and enjoying my own cooking and baking. Damn, I promised myself to lose weight this summer. Okay change of plan -> lose weight in Malaysia. Haha. So yeah a day alone in the room is not that bad, I actually needed that. I can't remember when was the last time I spent a day without leaving the house.

Oh I started playing League of Legends and it's actually quite good. Well I'm a noob still, but I'm enjoying it! Pfft you game freak people can definitely beat me in like 5minutes or less. Lala.Oh and I played Fifa the other day defeating the Hollywood St's all time champion! How the heck did that happen! OMg I felt so superior. Haha. And defeated this guy in a shooting game too. I know I only won because I had awesome team but regardless, a win is a win! Tee hee.

Until then, K.I.S.S.! everyone!

Stay vogue.

CherryBee xx

59 : Keep Your Zip Closed

2010-04-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

So apparently this guy told my friend he didn't have any girlfriend although she asked him many times. Then suddenly his friend blurted out in front of her to him saying "Oh so how's your girlfriend?". She was like what the eff man! He didn't even have the guts to make eye contact with her and now he's trying to avoid seeing her. Obviously she is so upset knowing she was "the other girl" because she would never ever do that. Some guys. Bleaghh.

" A lot of people out there are really good at hiding things and making it seem like everything is normal so you don't suspect anything. Usually things don't work out, not because of the cheating situation. It could just be compatibility. A lot of times you just have somebody in your life because you feel like you need someone in your life. You feel like you need a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Those are your own insecurities.

When you truly truly love somebody, and it's a healthy love, you always want to make sure you're healthy yourself before entering a relationship and give that person your time. That's why they call it dating. Dating doesn't mean we're sleeping together. Dating doesn't mean I'm your girlfriend, you're my boyfriend. It means that we are exclusively dating each other trying to get to know each other, figure out each other's personalities, see if we click, if our morals are intact - all those things. And then you can graduate to the next level of the relationship."

Like seriously, if you're not ready and can't commit to someone, then don't be in a relationship. It's that easy. Thank god my friend found out earlier. I'm the type that when I like/love someone, I will only like/love that person. And it's hard for me to just let our memories fade away like that. But I mean I'm glad and happy now. Although we don't talk face to face anymore, sometimes we talk on msn or ym or something and it feels good. But yeah I know some guys are just plain A-holes, but most of them are nice especially the guys here in Mac.

Study Math everyone! Freaking hard I'm telling ya. Keep smiling people. (^.^)V

CherryBee xx

58 : Stalk

2010-04-07T07:05:00.000-07:00

I admit, I stalk your facebook. A lot. Haha. But hey that's like the only way for me, isn't it? Lol. No worries, no harm done, just clicking and reading. I am so tempted to "write something here" and "share". In the mean time, I'll just stay low and act like nothing happened. Tee Hee. Goddamn it, stop daydreaming. Lab report due in one day. Pffttt.

CherryBee xx

57 : Tik Tok

2010-04-05T21:20:00.001-07:00

Clock is ticking, it's almost time. It's so near, I can feel it's coming. Please give me more time, I need it. But it doesn't work that way. I have to face it. Final exams, please be gentle with me. I have so many to study on, hopefully I can manage them all well.

Man this week is gonna be Crazee with capital E. I was exhausted from last week's activities and didn't even have time for proper sleeping. Gah, getting a bit cuckoo in the head from all the work. I wrote down all my assignments and lab report due dates and everyday is a due date until the last day of class, which is this Thursday. How am I gonna have any time to study then! My math is on Monday. Miracle I rarely ask for you, but please show up now. Please?

Putting all "the stressing out because it won't do any good" aside, last week was pretty awesome I must say. We had something to do everyday regardless of the work load, which is good for my self-entertainment but bad for my time management. Oh we had picnic last Friday. I baked for nearly 7 hours but it was worth it! I forgot to take pictures of my baking food though! Grrr. Nevermind can always bake them again. Wink*

I'm pretty sleepy now, so I should stop now and let these pictures tell the full story. In short, I enjoyed all of them so much! Goodnight Mac lovers. xoxo

I need to put this one up because it's funny. lol

3 in 1 game, totally a workout for all. Fun!

The "I'm such a badass" look.

Asian pose; PEACE!!

Kak Lynn looked so happy. Hehe.
Guess we will always haunt you.
Emo cover version! Family photo. A few people missing though.

CherryBee xx

56 : Company

2010-04-04T18:35:00.001-07:00

Gurls only. Is anyone free between 1st May to approximately 7th May to travel to US? Please I need company because most of the girls are going to Halifax or going back home to Malaysia. Can anyone tell me ASAP? I want to book my ticket, if most of you guys are not free, I can just go alone, I'm fine with that. I wanna go watch Mayday Parade. I know this one person wants to come but he's a guy so it won't be appropriate to just be the two of us. Thanks. :) Wuv yaa all.

CherryBee xx

55 : Smoothie-mania

2010-03-31T20:27:00.000-07:00

I love smoothies. Like seriously, I'm addicted to them. I gotta have it at least twice a week. But usually it will be 3 or 4. I mean it shoudn't be that bad considering it's all freshly blended fruits and I don't usually have other meal if I already had smoothie before. Why oh why do I love these kind of food. Because they're good! Duh.. Lol.

This Friday I gotta wake up early to bake. That's pretty hard. Haha. But either way, I'll get it done.

Oh I had a weird dream yesterday. It was so freakingly weird. I can't really remember in detail but something like this girl killed herself and was like haunting people. And I'm talking about an 8 or 9 year old girl. Then we were following this group of people by cars and got caught. A malay boy here was in that dream and he was telling to the other 3 gigantic guys to chase and hit me and my friends (whom I don't know). I was lucky to escape that, but then that little girl was haunting me everywhere. I got so annoyed I was like "omg go awayyy". Then suddenly I was jumping through people's fences and ended up in a house full of gays. Huh? I was like yay I'm safe because gay people are usually nice, but how the heck do I get out of here. Then my alarm woke me up. It was already 12pm. I got up and "Wow that was a nice dream, full of adventures". Okay time to bathe now. Lala~

Muahxoxo.

CherryBee xx

54 : That Day

2010-03-30T23:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had that day where you feel like crying.
You can't find the true reason behind it but you just wanna cry.
I'm having that feeling now. I just can't find out why though.
It sucks because I'm gonna think about all the sad stuff while listening to very sad songs. Miserable at its best, What If, Meet Me Halfway, The Garden That You Planted, My Happy Ending, All I Have, You're Not Sorry, I miss You, and the list goes on and on.
I know I'll be a lot better when I wake up tomorrow because this is temporary, but eh I wish I can talk to someone now and just cry at the person. Weird eh. Goodnight.

CherryBee xx

53 : Obnoxious

2010-03-30T23:01:00.000-07:00

If I could wish one thing for you, I'd wish you'll never change so that you'll be screwed forever. Stay away from my family. And you don't wanna know the reason why.

Was in the library for 5 hours until 11pm. What the heck. All of us ended up doing silly stuff but still managed to get work done. Hooray!

CherryBee xx

52 : Gaussian

2010-03-29T00:44:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of a new way saying omg. Instead of oh my god, oh my gosh, and oh my gawd, let's for with oh my gauss! That sounds so way scientific. Agree? I bet so.

Last Friday was pretty exhausting. I slept for 5hours only because I had Thermo test at 8.30am. What sucks about the test was I know this one subchapter was gonna be in but i skipped it because it doesn't look that interesting compared to others. Bam! It's on the test and it's worth 15points = 30 %. Like what the eff? Great, hopefully my nonsense I wrote on the paper can get me some marks. After that I went home and finished my lab report. Then rushed to school for my quantum class and my final circuits lab.

So considering all the things I've been through that day, of course my mood wasn't as high as I normally have. My lab partner was pissing me off, so I got this whatever look on my face. My TA came to me and tried to make me feel better. He even emailed me that night to make sure I'm doing all better. I was like "Wow, he is a really nice guy". I don' have a big brother, but the malay boys here and some people like my TA show me how it feels to have big brothers who care for you.

That night we went to this Italian restaurant (I forgot the name of the place) for a farewell dinner to whoever is graduating soon and to celebrate Nita's new position as the club president. Congrats girl! The place was awesome posum! I felt like a spoilt rich girl eating at this fine restaurant that costs $30 for a salmon and a guy playing jazz music on the side. Lol. It was fun though. Thanks everyone for the night, need it after a day of school crap. Haha. After that, we went to this other place for cakes! Nyum. Oh my gauss, freaking amazing. I couldn't care less of the calories consumption that night, I've been craving for cakes. :)

I spent my Saturday doing my research and assignment and slept at 5am! Oh well at least I got it done early. I nearly cried when I'm done with it because I never finished any assignment as early as 11pm on a Sunday night. It is due Monday though. Lol.

Missing a few people and juniors who's having midterm this night :P

My awesomeness crazy girls; K.Lynn, Agnita, Yasmin and Farhanah.
Food!! Kent looked like a Korean drama star. Lol

"Badass" boys.

Like Seriously, Those are amazing especially the cherry cheesecake. Calories ALERT!

CherryBee xx

51 : Chipsmore

2010-03-28T21:47:00.000-07:00

Now you see it, now you don't. Just like a chipsmore. But at the same time chipsmore is so good and you would do anything basically just to get a box of these cookies. Chipsmore alone is good enough, but if you combine it with a glass of milk, OMG it's so freaking good. Be a chipsmore, but don't disappear okay. Tee hee.

CherryBee xx

50 : Ambiguous

2010-03-27T21:19:00.000-07:00

" .... And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind.
And we both cried. "

Happens not only when you're fifteen. Even when you're old enough to differentiate between true men and players. I heard this song for like 10 times today in the radio, so these lines keep on playing in my head. Some boys are such CALs. Oh well, let's continue doing my work now. Test on Monday, time to get serious Sabrina. Tee-hee.

Misses Ard, was talking to her just now. :( Take care babe. I heart you very much. XoXo

CherryBee xx

49 : You Make Me Wanna Lala

2010-03-25T20:07:00.000-07:00

Oh hello, how long have you been standing there?

Snap, pop quiz! FTW I wasn't expecting it at all. Thankfully it went well considering I got all the answers, I think. Whether they are correct or not we shall see. With that being last quiz (2E04), I now can officially skip all circuits classes and do not have to worry about it until the next thing which is the final exam, that is not to be studied until the arrival of April 21st. Lol. I'm annoyingly lazy and hard to get serious, even in studies. Sigh.

I was doing my report with my lab partner at Thode just now and oh boy it was like a reunion or something because apparently a whole lot of engineers were working on their assignments/projects this night. I talked to more people just now compared to the total of people I talked to for the whole day. It was fun though. Enjoy it~

Someone quoted this; "Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together". Experience wise, this is 100% valid. You probably know how to verify this theoretically, but since my Emo mood is on, I might as well ramble on what I want to. Hold on! *Putting on my eyeliner, hand socks, hoodie, and turn on Mayday Parade music* Alright kids listen up, screw that glass, go out and buy a new glass. Or better yet, just settle for a crystal. Or don't have any glass or crystal at all. Whatever, get a smoothie or something. But like seriously, I was the fool trying to fix it but hey I've learned well. Clap Clap** Lolz.

Tomorrow we're gonna eat at this Italian restaurant and I am pretty excited about it. Regardless of the hardcoreness I must go through tomorrow (test at 8.30am, lab report due 2.30pm, and lab til 5.30pm), I will show up at the dinner. And although next week is promised to be a very busy one, a picnic on Good Friday is still on and I wanna play dodgeball! Can improvise my arm swinging skill which may be useful in hitting anyone in the future. Haha. Kidding.

I love random photos. :D

Stay Babelicious Gurls. Xoxo~

CherryBee xx

48 : Ferosh much

2010-03-25T08:34:00.000-07:00

" If you fall for me, I'm not easy to please.

I might tear you apart, Told you from the start, Baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart (4x)

And I know karma's gonna get me back for being so cold.

Like a big bad wolf, I'm born to be bad and bad to the bone

If you fall for me, I'm only gonna tear you apart,

Told you from the start."

Why the heck do people make this kind of song? Okay honestly when I listened to this song I got so pissed because it reminds me of something And technically I've heard these lines before. The person singing this song is not even near any cute, so please just shut up. I don't have problem listening to this song and enjoy it but when I think about it, I feel like punching something/someone. Guys, girls, everyone please do not follow this horrible behaviour. And oh yeah karma will bite you in the ass, and it's gonna be a painful one. So behave, people will start loving and respecting you for who you are. This is a reminder for myself too.

Oh before I forget, I had one of the most confusing dreams last night. This one particular face of someone kept showing up. I woke up and was like "Shit, I've been thinking too much". Dush dush.. Oh well it makes me happy though. Haha. Anyhow, I have to choose my stream for next term by April 9th! Omg I havent decided. Help Help. Nuclear, Nanotechnology, or Photonics?? No, not interdisciplinary please. I was so sure of going to Nuclear but as I'm learning more and more about laser, waves, lights and all these stuff, I'm more attracted to Nano and Photonics. Hm, waiting for a reply from my mum. She always gives the best advise and choice!

Yesterday was a great day, in term of weather though. Everyone was outside. People were playing rounders, football, american football in front of JHE. Most of the students were riding bicycles, skateboards, and rollerblades. Some were jogging around, and I knew at that time I had to go for a walk. I walked to University Plaza, got myself hulla hoops (finally!) and walked back home. My god it was so refreshing. Me Like!!

Some non related photos, but I was browsing through my folders and found these.

STAY VOGUE!

CherryBee xx

47 : Random

2010-03-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

Quote of the day :

"In the regular world, halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candies.

In girl world, halloween is the one night of the year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

O'RLY??

CherryBee xx

47 : Vicious

2010-03-23T16:54:00.000-07:00

Got back my Quantum test II. I wouldn't say it's near any awesome but it wasn't that bad, for me. I studied at 7am to 11am that morning and went for the test at 12pm. So either way, I'm proud of myself. A pat on the back for me. :) Although yeah could have been much better if I were to put in any kind of effort into studying it. Now I really should stop lazying around and study for my next 2 tests.

I was so craving for rasberry/apple pie just now. I wanted to bake it myself but it would have taken me 1.5 hours. So I decided to go for a walk and buy pie on the way back home. Oh my god, it's so worth the craving~ Nyummy. I'm worried of my addiction to desserts, but can always use skimmed milk and exercise frequently.

I still can't get over this henna thingy on my hands. To be honest, I really wanna curse so badly but I keep telling myself it won't do any good. I mean Come On, my hands were fine before. There's no need for any mark to be on it that probably gonna take a freaking long time for the mark to diminish. Arghh I said I didn't want any henna. :(

My class finished early today as I do not have my thermo lab this week. I really wanna go shopping! I was thinking of going out after class but then again, I have lots of work. Hold on, only 2 weeks to go with classes.

Oh and ANTM Cycle 14 is now showing! Omg I'm a BIG fan of ANTM. I watched all of the cycles and I never missed any episode. I know all the winners! I haven't had any favourite one yet in the competition (this cycle) but a few of them I must say have very good modelling skill. I know for sure one thing is that I dislike Angelea. I don't get it how they could bring her in. Putting that aside though, I think this cycle is gonna be pretty interesting compared to the last 2 cycles that were pretty boring. You guys should watch the walk they did in the middle of the street plus had to take their coats off (with style of course!). Omg that was so awesome! Can I be taller and try entering the competition? I promise I cut down on food. Lol. :P

Stay vivalicious everyone. Xoxo.

CherryBee xx

46 : Intention

2010-03-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

You're wrong when you do bad things and you're wrong when you do good things.
So let's just be and do what you want because in the end no one gives a damn. Helping others is wrong apparently. My intention was good, but it is seen as a bad thing for making them lazier and more dependent. That's a good point there but I wasn't thinking much at that time. I'm sorry, was just trying to help.

CherryBee xx

45 : Dearest Sarah

2010-03-21T14:59:00.000-07:00

Count to 4 backward. "Oh oh I can do it!". What? Of course not that will be from number of infinity to 4. Nice one, I was tricked. I might look arrogant (always get that as the first impression), but actually pretty sensitive. But people who know me well are aware of this though. Oh well, what the heck. Random random. And I can't seem to get through this one friend of mine. I hope everything is alright over there because I have no clue what's happening. Take care alright.

To my dearest beautiful cool couzie, Sarah. Happy 20th Birthday Dear! Have a great one alright! Turning 20 is not as big as turning 21 but that will do. Haha. May all your wishes come true. I MISS you a lot and I seriously can't wait to hangout + go shopping with you before you fly off. Muahhh! xoxo babe

CherryBee xx

44 : 3/4

2010-03-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

(^.^) i $ $ / $ u ^.^ () N 3

(--) u N q - Y

< () N (= U $ 3

(> 1 (_ 3 (^.^) (^.^) @

J u $ -(- / \/\/ @ N N @ / (8 3 / (--) @ 9 9 Y

CherryBee xx

43 : D.L.S

2010-03-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

I was raped by Math. But Thankfully the first Test was good, so hopefully it will still be alright. Quantum Test was better than the first one. My friend did quote "Easy" but I don't think my level is that high to say it is so easy though. Yesterday I stayed up doing my lab report until like 4am at campus and ended up sleeping at Moulton's common room. It was kind of a deja vu moment because I used to come there a lot last year.

St. Patty's Day was sick (in a good way)! I know it's a religious event celebrated by the Irish but everyone nowadays celebrates it as a reason to drink all day long. I was going home at 4.30pm and people on the street were pouring beer onto each other already. I was like "Wait, it's only 4!". But the weather on that day was superb. 16 degrees celcius, man the Irish people do bring luck. Lol. Suddenly on that day everyone was an Irish or have "Irish blood" in them. My friend gave me a shot glass with "St Patty's Day" written on it. Aww appreciate the thought.

Before this I had this conversation with my friends on how Engineering guys are mostly dirty minded. Haha. I'm not saying it's a bad thing or I mind about it, but these past few days the theory is starting to become more and more solid. I had several occasions before where I would encounter such things but I got these all in 1 day. Tsk tsk.

Scene 1 (about to fall asleep)
Me : Im sleepy.
Guy next to me : You're not allowed to be sleepy.
Guy infront of me : He's rude. You should smack him!
Me : I will, especially when he's sleeping. I'm gonna just smack him.
Guy next to me : I should get it. Then we both will enjoy it.

Scene 2 (trying to put in freaking small wires into the breadboard of the logic circuit)
Me : Which one should I put it in?
Guy 1 : Just shove it up in the hole.
Guy 2 : That's what she said. *Wink*
Guy 1 : That's a good one.

Scene 3 (measuring values from oscilloscope)
TA : I'll read the values from the oscilloscope and you change the frequency values to whichever you want.
Me : Alright, I want it bigger.
TA : Yeah, that's what she said. *Smile*
Me : WHat??
TA : WHat??

Scene 4 (our TA gave us lollipops, I was so hungry)
Me : Oh my god this is so good.
Guy with lollipop : Oh yeah this is very good. Emm.. (started laughing)
Me : Eeew, be professional.

Scene 5 (wishing Happy Birthday at msn)
Me : Yeah Im gonna go get my sleep soon. Happy Birthday in advance!
Classmate : Don't let some crazed lesbians lavish you in your sleep. At least video tape it sell it for some money..
Me : You're crazy and random.

Okay I'm gonna stop now because I think you get the picture.

Anyhow, the class of 2009/2010 in ending. Omg how time flies. I'm nearly done with my second year! This is so exciting. Winter is over, spring is here, I feel like everything is so great right now. I can't wait for summer! Lots of things on my to-do list to be fulfilled. I do hope somebody I know will come to Hamilton this summer. It will be awesome. And I'm not gonna be able to watch Gaga's concert since it is in July! Can I get an Urrghh..!

Miss my Mummy and Lukey so much!

CherryBee xx

42 : Fermions

2010-03-16T20:54:00.000-07:00

I watched this one movie. Well I'm still watching it, it's a very happy movie with a happy ending to all but along the way they face very hard and challenging obstacles.

This one girl, she was in love with this guy. They had amazing times being together. They went out together, and share most of the moments not only with themselves but also with all of their friends. But then distance separates them. They didn't let it be a reason, everyday they would talk to each other. At least a message to know the other was doing alright. Suddenly he began to act differently for a long time. She trusted him with all her heart, and so the probability of a third person to involve was out of the question. She went to see him after so long not being able to even hold his hands. She was very happy. So did he. But she found out the truth. The ugly truth that she wished she would never have encountered it. She mentioned to him before "I can't accept only one thing about a guy, and that is being a cheater.". She's been fooled. Her heart was crushed and her life was crumbling down. After a month, she stopped crying. Lifting herself up, she started a new life. A better and a merrier one.

The other girl, was in love with a guy who belongs to someone else. She didn't plan this to happen but it did. She said no to her feelings, because it is not fair to the other girl who is waiting for the guy to come back home. Being a normal typical guy, he confessed his feelings to her. She didn't response, "This is wrong", she thought to herself. But deep inside of her, her heart smiles, but not for long. He confronted her again, saying that this could not continue. No matter how much he loves her, how much he cares for her, he will always choose the girl who is waiting with hope for him to return. She understood, she smiled, she laughed. "I wish for your happiness with her". In her room, she cried badly. Hating him for stealing her heart and throwing it away. No more wake up calls from him, no more seeing him, no more "me & you". But she's strong, she knows she's better than this. She said to herself "I will cry tonight. I will scream tonight. I will look at your pictures tonight. I will read your messages tonight. But tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow I won't do what I'm doing tonight. I will forget you and become a happy person just like before, knowing the right person is waiting for me somewhere. Only time will bring him to me". And that's what she did.

Another person was with this guy for such a long time. They have been together for nearly 2 years. They were very happy doing everything together. And I mean every single thing. From doing homework to buying shoes, from eating lunch to going out for a movie. The only thing that was bothering her was his temper. Whenever he's angry, he would forget everything about them and acted according to his feelings. She didn't mind, knowing that their love was stronger than ever and this small thing would not be the reason to end their love. But one day he was crossing the line. Saying "We are not meant for each other" broke her heart. She cried and cried. She said "I'm not taking this anymore" and began ignoring him. At one point, he wanted her back but she said no. She was sure with her answer. However the world has a funny way to turn things around at you. 1, 2, 3, 4 months passed and now she's missing him more than ever. She keeps reminiscing their memories and tries to win him back. He's not showing interest, but he's not turning his back. She knows it's not him to be blamed for, she was stupid to let him go. But she knows everything happens for a reason, and that there must be a reason for this to happen the way it did. She's not giving up, but she's not chasing. "If you're meant for me, then we will be together. I don't need to rush or force things to happen". Putting everything aside, she focuses on her future and enjoy each moment with everyone around.

Now isn't that an amazing movie. Everyone managed to face the challenges in life and now happiness is chasing them. It's not the end of it yet, but so far they all look happy. Don't assume these are all about me, like I said, it's a movie. :)

CherryBee xx

41 : M.a.B

2010-03-12T22:41:00.000-08:00

So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know she's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, she stares)
I bet she gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask the boy to drive, and he'll say yes
Because these words were never easier for me to say
On him to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

-If you know this song, you should listen to it because it is a beautiful song. An old song but never gets old. No I'm not miserable or whatever, it's just a song. A song will stay as a song. A dream will stay as a dream. A word will only stay as a word. Now let's study math :)

CherryBee xx

Ch-ch-ch-Check It Out.

2010-03-11T20:09:00.000-08:00

COOL SONG.

CherryBee xx

40 : Unlocalized

2010-03-10T20:00:00.000-08:00

Warning: Pictures above have nothing to do with what I'm gonna say next.

I always have a list of celebrity icons. The celebrities whom I adore very much and wanting be like them. Britney will always be number 1 in the list of course. Also on the list are Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Christina Aquilera, and Hilary Duff. But recently I added another celebrity and can't get enough of her! Introducing to the J'adore list is Ke$ha! I like her style and her music a lot! Stop ta-ta-talking that blaa blaa blaa...

Anyhow,the phrase "it's wrong but it feels so damn right" (okay I added the "damn" myself) is very common. I have been in that situation, and I'm sure many people have been through that state. But like, I dont know, it's just complicated. Oh well. Just sharing.

Now: Lab Report. Lab report.

Mishing my family and friends THIS much. xoxo

CherryBee xx

Aside

2010-03-06T23:43:00.000-08:00

Shisha or movie. ctrl + alt + delete. Thank you.

CherryBee xx

39 : I Like.

2010-03-06T21:12:00.000-08:00

Tahlil was a success. Thanks everyone, I love you. May God Bless you all. :)

Food was a success too, of course. Nasi lemak, bread pudding and cupcakes! :9

Eng phys + 1 elec night out was great. Makes me so proud to be an engineering student. ERTW everyone~

He was making coffee. I like it.

p/s: When I was younger sometimes people teased me by calling me ribeena or sabrina the teenage witch. But they were all joking and I would be like "Awesome". But sometimes the teasing words come out from the SUBs. I couldnt care less because they're not up to my standard but just saying. What is SUBs? Well it's not something nice and try to figure it out. :D

Goodnight Hamiltonians. Make sure the derivation is the same so that energy is surely conserved or else we'd be in big trouble. xx

CherryBee xx

38 : Hey You.

2010-03-03T20:18:00.000-08:00

Hey you. Yeah you.
I like you. Do you like me too?
Can I try to win you back? You said that you care about me although I haven't been showing the best attitude.
I've been wearing it. Everytime, everywhere I go. I remember you gave it to me.
Hey you. I really like you.
I do. :)
*And I called you Jacob first okay! Grr..*

p/s : my bread pudding is a success. yay. vanilla+chocolate cupcakes, apple pie, meat pie, lasagna, and cakes. my hobby invloves money. but baking is fun!

CherryBee xx

37 : Starry, Starry Night

2010-03-02T20:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night I needed to go for a walk. It's 8pm but I didn't care of the fact that it's night time already, I needed a time on my own to just be alone. I was strolling down the Rifle Range street and a lot of things came to my mind. Everything that has happened these few years, the memories are coming back one by one. The pain and the happiness I've went through. I wish i could turn back time. If only I could.. Then I would safe you. And if I couldn't safe you, I would have spent the entire time with you. I would tell you how much you mean so much not only to me but to us. I would not let you leave us.

If I could turn back time, I would never let this one person go. The first in my life. And right now it feels like you're the last one too. Because I was stupid and only now I realized how much I care for you. I watched it slipped away, I tried not to let it go but I don't know what happened. But I won't do the same thing again. Never. Because IWYB. I hope one day we can be like before. But a dream stays a dream.

Anyhow, as I was walking I thought to myself "So this is what Dexter was talking about". Walking alone at night sounds crazy but when you inhale that refreshing breeze, you suddenly feel so calm. You feel like you're in a different world, a world of peace and a place for your sanctuary. It has definitely cleared my thoughts and now I know that I need to move forward for what's ahead of me. Start with a baby step. Whatever the challenges may seem, everyone will endure it with great success if you have faith and hope. Be it your studies, your life, or anything at all. Challenges promise you one thing, that you'll become a better person and happiness will follow afterwards.

I've been thinking too much not only about the past but of the future. But someone gave this line in surah Al Noor (The light); what a coincidence of the name with mine; "Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women.."

I don't think I'm a vile person, but maybe I'm not all good. But I think I need a step back from all this world of madness and return to the path where I was at. For a start, Yasin always for Daddy and have happy thoughts constantly. With the help of the Almighty, I know I'm not alone and can always turn to Him for help. Goodnight everyone, I made bread pudding but it's late so gonna eat it for breakfast. Sleep tight. xx

CherryBee xx

36 : The 4th

2010-03-01T17:57:00.000-08:00

4 years.
Since I last saw your face.

4 years.

Since I last kissed your hands.

4 years.

Since I last called you "Abah" infront of you.

4 years.

Since you last called my name.

4 years.

Since I last heard your voice.

4 years.

Since I last cried heavily non-stop for 1 straight week.

4 years.

Since you left us.

4 years it has been,

But you're still on my mind.

I remember everything that happened at this moment 4 year ago.

I miss your presence.

I miss going out for a family weekend.

I miss when you came home from work and Lukey would run out to hug you.

I miss it when you laughed because of something really funny and sometimes mum didn't even get the joke.

I miss it when you used to drive me to school everyday.

I miss it when you would bring home cakes for our birthdays.

I miss everything about you.

Because you were and are the greatest Dad in the whole world.

You cared for us very much. How I wish I could tell you how much Mum, Lukey, Me and Kakak miss you.

If only you knew what had happened since you left us and got me thinking everytime that it would be better if you're still around.

But I know that's not possible. I have promised you to take care of the family and to make everyone proud. You taught me to always keep our promises and I will try my best to keep it.

I'm sorry I haven't been the greatest daughter to you. I have made mistakes in life. Sometimes people take advantage of me, of our family, and I was stupid to let people used me, let people bring me down. But it is said that, the greater you fall the greater you will rise. I've fallen hard but it makes me stronger Dad. Don't worry, I won't let anyone do any wrong anymore to our family, to me. Mak always misses you, all the time. We love you very much and I hope that you're happy right now because there's nothing I want now but to know that you're happy. I always pray for you. I Love you.

CherryBee xx

35 : Pangaea

2010-02-28T20:36:00.000-08:00

One word to describe it. Spectacular. We had such a great time. Everyone worked their very best and gave it all to bring the name "Malaysia" to the world. I'm so proud and blessed to enjoy it with each and every single one of you. I never really wanted a traditional wedding (for my wedding, hopefully one day), but the beating of kompang, the silat, and the zapin, which we performed made me think twice. Anyhow, I am so proud to be a Malaysian, which is rich in cultures. I'll upload pictures or videos later because i'm so screwed for my test tomorrow (I just started studying like 5mins ago). But I have to tell you I adore the make up (Thanks K. Betty!) because it wasn't over the top yet still managed to make me look good (well it won't look great because I'm the one wearing it, sorry).

Malaysia Boleh! I heart everyone in MyMac! especially R

CherryBee xx

34 : Polarized

2010-02-26T07:11:00.000-08:00

Everytime seeing him, my heart beats faster. I got nervous. Scared at the same time. Suddenly the images of the past begin to re-appear and they won't go away. The feeling got stronger, the jealousy starts to show when something is bothering me. How did that happen. I thought I could overcome the feeling, but I guess I can't no matter how hard I try to. But the question is, what about him. What is going through his mind. Is it the same thing, or is it a complete 180 degree. I don't know what the future is for me, but I know to follow my heart and do what I believe is the right thing to do; go for it. I made the mistake once, now I have to fight and defend.

CherryBee

33 : Metamorphosis

2010-02-24T06:10:00.000-08:00

Have you guys ever watched this cartoon called "Akazukin Chacha"? I used to love watching it especially the part when she changes to this Magical Princess. Yes, I've found it on youtube! I'm gonna start watching it again.

Anyhow I haven't been updating lately because of many reasons and probably when I'm ready I will start sharing everything here. But for now I'm happy. Why? Because everything that needs to be said are told, and everything that needs to be done have been done. I'm sorry if I've said or done anything wrong to you guys. I love and care for each and everyone of you here. I know you guys care and think for the best of me, and so I am very thankful. Thank you all.

I was scared thinking that this person won't like me anymore after this, but I believe we just have to do our best. And it may seem that the odds are against it, but it won't hurt to try and give it your best.

I couldn't find the part when they say "With love, courage, and hope". However I'm sure you will like it too once seeing the opening trailer, I hope. Go go Akazukin Chacha! xx

CherryBee xx

32 : Affrmative

2010-02-22T14:24:00.000-08:00

I've been travelling on this road too long.
Just trying to find my way back home.
And the old me is dead and gone.
Dead and gone.

I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it.
I don't believe it makes me real.
I thought it'd be easy, but no one believes me.
I meant all the things I said.

Where are you, and I'm so sorry.
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight.
I need somebody and always.
This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytime.
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight.
Stop this pain tonight. I miss you, miss you.

The littlest things that take me there.
I know it sounds lame but it's so true.
I know it's not right but it seems unfair.
The things remind me of you.

Waking up I see that everything is okay.
The first time in my life and now it's so great.
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed.
I think about the little things that make life great.

The radio reminds me of my home far away.
And driving down the road I get the feeling
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday.

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed.
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid.
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
When you look outside look inside to your soul.

I wish you were here.
Before it's too late this could all disappear.
Before the door's closed and it comes to an end.
With you by my side I will fight and defend.
Keep holding on, cause you know we'll make it through.
Just stay strong, cause you know I'm here for you.

CherryBee

31 : Cascade

2010-02-13T11:49:00.000-08:00

Friday is one of the best days of the week. Although my class starts at 8.30am and finishes at 5.30am, nevertheless I'm always looking forward for Fridays. This week has been very busy for me. Average sleeping time : 3.5 - 4 hours a day. But putting all the work at the side,I must say I've been feeling so happy this week. Lots of things have been hapening that made me smile even when I'm sitting alone in my room. Haha.

Anyhow, I had a good lab this week despite having to wait 20minutes for my lab partner. I got lots of candies that day. N gave me m&m's and my TA gave me lollipop and sweets! My lab TA is an amazingly nice person. He always tries to help me and make the lab so much fun. Thanks E!

Yesterday I was talking to my sis and she said she got herself a new Blackberry phone! Omg envy alert. I want a new phone too but not Blackberry though. The phone will make me look like a working person a.k.a old. So we talked for like 1 hour or so about stuff, some gossip update, etc, but then had to cut it off because I had to go out. Sorry, but we'll catch up more later alright! :)

Gosh I've developed a flu yesterday. And when I'm not well I'm always tired. I slept for nearly 10hours and now I'm still sleepy. I gotta plan out my reading week so that it will be used to its full benefits; enjoying and studying at the same time. Oh Happy Chinese New Year! Dragon dance, or is it Lion dance? Oh well. :P

CherryBee xx

30 : Shear

2010-02-12T21:53:00.001-08:00

Lol, I wanna meet this Kevin guy who suggested this at our common place market. Salute the silly-ness. I went to grab breakfast after Thermodynamics test and saw this note. Speaking of the test, that night I only had 3hours of sleep and I admit I didn't study enough for it. I stopped in the middle of this chapter and watched Dexter. :P But yeah the test was alright I think, so thank god and I'm happy about it.

Right after our circuits 2E04 class, we went to the mall and shop! Honestly we were so tired and thinking of going back home to sleep. But come on, we have reading week to do that. We've been having such a TIRING week and screw it, let's go shopping. Haha. I didn't plan to buy any but of course I got myself a few stuff. I would post pictures but nah, it won't be exciting anymore. Oh I got flat shoes! I know people will go like "so?" but this is my first time buying them and I'm so excited! Plus I love Them!

That night I was so busy managing everyone because we're heading out. I was texting 5-6 people at the same time while making sure the others who got there early have companies. I was like "Grrr" so badly but hey it was worth it. We had such a blast! Love you people a lot. :)

And did I mention that every single person who came up to me would have guessed I'm from Philippine. Like seriously people, do I even look like one? I guess Malaysia is not a famous answer over here. When I asked them why Philippine, one of them answered "After all, that's where all the cute Asians are from". I know I shouldn't mention this but why not eh. Lols. :P Just for fun, now don't be going like "Omg she's so full of herself". :S haha

Now I'm gonna get something to eat because I'm hungry! xx Hamiltonians

CherryBee

29 : Spectra

2010-02-10T12:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had my Quantum Mechanics test and it was quite brutal I'd say. I guess next time we really need to memorize all those long complicated equations and derive them over and over again. But oh well, we'll see how it goes. Now I have to start studying Thermodynamics for tomorrow. I know, studying a day before a test is never a good sign, but I'll do my best to use every single minute of the day. Not to mention the test is at 8.30am! English Toffee, Save Me!

Just a thought, can dead people really communicate with the livings? How valid is this theory? From what I know, once your soul leaves your body, you will no longer have any connection with the livings. But what about all those things that had happened in this world. Because I also heard that they can visit you in your dreams, give you signs and so on. Somehow I really wish to know deeply about this matter. I'm not superstitious though, that one I am sure of.

Anyhow, tomorrow right after the test (and classes), I'm planning of going out with F either to shop (YAY) or to buy lots of fruits at farmer's market. And that night I finally get to be beautiful ( I hope :P ) again after nearly 1 and a half months. I miss getting up early and actually have time to get yourself ready before going to school, and browse through my closet to pick an outfit for the day. Trust me, being in engineering (specifically physics) programme is so worth it, but you rarely get to be a true "girl". Most of the time I'll have laptop on my hand and coffee on the other. Sleep at around 2am doing assignments or studying, and wake up at 8am the latest. 95% of the time I would wake up and have this "Damn I'm LATE!" expression on my face. Not to mention I RARELY get to properly dry my hair. :(

So with this, I'm vowing to use significantly my reading week and make up for the lost "girlie" time! I'm starting on my to-do list for this coming week and boy I'm so excited. Gonna start on my new personal style and finally get a haircut after 3months. I can't wait! 2 more days guys. Keep that spirit alive because you know we gonna rock hamilton this coming week! xx To all those of you out there who are hungry for love, spread some of yours by donating to Haiti charity foundation alright. God Bless Ya.

CherryBee xx

28 : Lieya's Sweet 21!

2010-02-09T14:50:00.000-08:00

LIEYA DARLING! You're 21 today!!! Happy Birthday Babe!

I'm sorry I can't be there on your birthday but I know you're enjoying your birthday party with your boyfriend and the other gurls! Arghh How I wish I could join you guys.

When I come back home, we're gonna bake like there's no tomorrow and you owe me a set of "Spongebob Squarepants" cupcake theme. Nyummyy I can't wait :99 And we're so gonna go shopping and just waste our time hanging out around KL, after all that's what we do best. Haha. Oh and don't forget the slumber party!

Chocolate fountain, swimming pool, gossip-ing, and watching late night movies. :)

Mishh yaa babe!! I wish nothing but happiness for you and I know you'll do well in life. God Bless You Lee~ Muahxoxo

CherryBee xx

Ardie

2010-02-08T06:41:00.000-08:00

Ardie, I don't know how to post this video on your fb wall, so I am posting it here. So K told me the version is 3.1.2 (3GS) , 16 gb and that it has been fully unlocked so you can put in your Malaysian simcard in there. The phone is 1month and 10days old, and the warranty is until December 2010. I'm gonna have a look at it this Friday perhaps, or as soon as possible and will keep you updated. He says I can make sure that you don't need to jailbreak it everytime you restart the phone. It's around rM1700 ~ $520. If you really wish to have it, tell me quick because he says "Iphones sell like hot cakes." Nyummy :9 Mish ya Babe. Take care! xx

CherryBee xx

28 : Latte

2010-02-07T21:52:00.000-08:00

So apparently today didn't really go as planned. I spent most of the time cooking and baking cupcakes. Didn't have time to decorate though. I have so many plans for the upcoming reading week, I wanna bake so many stuff and shop lots of pinky clothes!

I finally headed to library at around 4.30pm, which was quite late so I didn't really have that much time to study. But hey better than nothing right? This morning I joined online "usrah" led by my ex-housemate, Tiqa and it was very helpful. The topic is about how people say they're muslims but they don't actually perform anything that says they're muslims such as pray, fast, reading the holy Quran and many more. I do admit that we need to be constantly reminded about this matter, even myself. Humans are forgetful, and we need to always seek help from God so that we will see the light and not be left in the darkness. I have to say that I am not a good person myself, I've done lots of sins and I'm not proud of it. But remember that God is merciful and He will never shut the door to those who wish to repent.

There is this one line in Surah Al Nasr where it says "So glorify the Praises of your Lord, and ask for His forgiveness. Verily, He is the One Who accepts the repentance and forgives". Therefore, please do always think of God and ask for His forgiveness. This is a reminder for me, as I am myself not perfect.

Oh another thing, I saw this contemporary dance and it is so beautiful! It really touches my heart on how the message is conveyed. The story behind this dance is about a girl facing her "fear". Her fear in this video is the guy, and no matter how hard she tries to run away from the "fear", he always seems to haunt her. But if you do watch the video, please watch until the end where she finally conquers her fear. Whatever your fear might be, know that you need to face it instead of running away from it. It is you who will fight and win the battle against your fear. I might gonna switch from Britney and Beyonce to this type of dance (but it seems so hard!).

CherryBee xx

27 : Quantized Atoms

2010-02-06T16:47:00.000-08:00

I loveee today! The weather is so nice~ I had such a blast for the past few days and my sufferings will be done for the next 1 week! yay.

We went groceries shopping just now and oh boy I like it. I got my baking stuff and a lot of magazines. Tonight I can read them with a bowl of frozen yogurt on the side. Oh gosh, totally heaven on earth. :D

Tomorrow I will wake up early (hopefully) and study the whole day for the upcoming tests. Go go Beena you can do it! xx

I seriously feel like I was rebirth into this world and it feels awesome! Can't wait for this Thursday. This is so a good enough reason to go shopping. Furthermore R said I can wear cheongsam for the cultural event since A might not be able to come on that day. Or I can also help in performing a dance. Either way, I'm superly excited!

Wishing everyone a joyful weekend! Remember what Dexter said, "You might get away from the hand of the law, but you can't get away from me, I will find you." Haha that is a random one but that's all I can think of right now. Merry Saturday lovahs.

CherryBee xx

26 : Dear John

2010-02-05T21:40:00.000-08:00

Dear John, you've made me cry tonight. But at the same time you've made me a different person, the person who I used to be before. And that is to believe in the word "love" again. Not to mention to have faith that not all men are the same, where there exists such love between a man and a woman. Yes I cried, and it is because I see your pain, I feel your suffering..

But I smiled too, because your heart is pure, your love is divine, your faith is strong, and your patience is remarkable. The word time is always mentioned by people. I used to believe in time, but the thing with time is, that no matter how long you have it, whether it is 2months of knowing you throughout the summer, or 2weeks of being with you to say goodbye, time will eventually run out.

Before going to bed to actually face a better day tomorrow of sunlight, I will put on a smile of satisfaction and happiness knowing that "happy ending" might do still exist in this mixed up world. Goodnight.

CherryBee xx

25 : Grotesque

2010-02-05T08:31:00.000-08:00

Rise and shine~

Someone said "I hate what you've become". Newsflash, you made me like this. I wasn't like this before. Yeah it's so easy for you to just say it as if I'm a robot where you can just change the programming code. And whatever this "I've become", it certainly shows infront of some people only.

N said to me "Sabrina, it's not worth it to change yourself because of someone. You never hated anyone in your life, not even "him". This is the first time I'm seeing you hate someone so much and I'm telling you it's not worth it because I know you. Let her do what she wants, you have a mission here and I know you'll turn up great."

Hm.. You're right. I never in my life hated anyone, never even once. I don't believe in hating or fighting, but this time it's different. And if I really hate this person anyway, I shouldn't let the person change me. But seriously what can I do about it. I do believe though that when you're betrayed, God will listen to your prayers. It is said and proven.

I asked only one question to him, but up until now the only answer I'm getting is somewhat like "You're just assuming", "I'm not happy or sad", "No I am not with her". But why am I seeing it differently, or perhaps the other person is the one trying. Hah, whatever. Seriously, how long will this continue. How long do I have to cry, not to mention every single effing day. I just wish that .........

CherryBee

24 : Fine 99

2010-02-05T00:13:00.000-08:00

I'm sometimes confuse with the sentence "It's for the best". What does that mean? The way I see it though, if it benefits only one party then it should be "It's best for me, not you". But I guess it's alright. Lala~

Yesterday I slept for 4hours only finishing the assignment which I am 100% confident that it is shitty, plus was studying for math test as well. Thank god the Math was alright so I don't feel that horrible about myself. Next up, Quantum and Thermodynamics tests. But for now, I'm gonna let myself have enough sleep first before I can do anything else.

Girls' night out was so fun. I had tons of fun with them all. Thank you for brighten up my night and Happy 20th Birthday Laila! You deserve it since you've been going through a week of hella good. Lol.

I'm so sleepy right now and the last thing I wanna do is reminiscing those sweet memories. Damn it. I wanna bake cupcakes tomorrow, predicting it will cheer me up. But I must say, we are forced to make decision every time and whatever we choose will have consequences, be it bad or good. Right now I wanna choose my future, and I will prove to everyone that I can do this. Some people might make the wrong decision but I guess only time will tell.

Life, what goes around comes around. What you give is what u get. As for now, I have my hangel always with me and I love that lil kitty. Goodnight all.

CherryBee

23 : Holler

2010-02-02T12:06:00.000-08:00

Okay I missed another 2 classes today. But I do forgive myself for any missed class within these 2weeks interval of time though. I must say the burden seems so much less now that I have done submitted a lot of assignments.

Yesterday MATLAB assignment was hardcore! Our professor purposedly made it a hard one because he said people have been passing around the answers. I submitted the file at 11:59:36 pm! 24seconds before deadline, pheww. And today handed in the Quantum Mechanics assignment, which is like a total relief. Now I have to get this Nuclear assignment done (although I'm like so far away from finishing it) and sit for my Math test this thursday. Gosh time is ticking!! I'm so gonna stay up for 3 days straight.

That night I was talking to this one person, and he was telling me that he's trying to generate money as much as possible. I must say he has very good strategy in marketing as he already earned profits of $360 within like 2-3weeks. Now that's impressive! He mentioned he wanted to buy a BMW X5 series with his own money. I wasn't really surprised because he knows business well, he's doing engineering, and he's smart. Which basically equals to lots of $$$. Haha. My dad had BMW X5 when he was in his forties and now people in their twenties are talking about owning them. I wanna work hard and get one just like my dad's!

Oh today I'm gonna give Hangel his bath and spray my Ed Hardy perfume on him. He's gonna smell naish~ And lots and lots and lots of Britney's songs on the side to keep me energetic for studying too! Thode's Library tonight anyone? Holler!

Missing summer and my ferosh gurls xx

CherryBee

22 : Cherish

2010-02-01T19:09:00.000-08:00

If you were told by someone, whom you love, "I still love you".
What would you do.? I would believe every single thing that comes out from his mouth. I would say what my heart has been shutting all this while, I would say that I love you.

If you were told by someone, whom you love, "I will give it back when we meet again".
What would you say.? I would say time is just a medium in space that will eventually bring everyone together again. And so I will wait.

If you were told by someone, whom you love, "Happiness can be faked".
What would you see.? I would see through his heart and give the touch of love, so forever will that heart beat with a shine.

If you were told by someone, whom you love, "I miss you".
What would you feel.? I would feel that deep in you, I'm still there. And deep in me, you're always there. Only waiting for the right moment to finally be "together forever" again.

Happy February everyone. Yeah I can't write poems but just saying what I feel. I hope you're doing fine and remember don't be naughty. Because I know I won't.

CherryBee

21 : Sanctuary

2010-02-01T09:04:00.000-08:00

Life is beautiful

We love until we die

When you run into my arms,
We steal a perfect moment,
Let the monsters see you smile,
Let them see you smilling.

Do I hold you tightly?
When will the hurt kick in?

Life is beautiful, but it's complicated.
We barely make it.
We don't need to understand.
There are miracles, miracles.

Yeah, life is beautiful.
Our hearts, they beat and break.

When will you run away from harm.
Will you run back into my arms.
Like you did when you were young?
Will you come back to me?

I will hold you tightly
When the hurting kicks in.

- I picture my dad, my mum, saying these words to me. Because they wouldn't want to see me getting hurted. Not in any way possible. They want me to see that life is beautiful, and when I'm feeling down, they're going to hold me tight and make me feel safe.

Abah, I let you down. I neglected the reason I was here in the first place, which is to study hard and make our family proud. I will not let anyone bring me down anymore. Because you taught me well the meaning of patience, the meaning of sacrifice, the meaning of hardships. I promise I will make you proud and I will take care of mak, kakak, and lukey. Mak, you said challenges in life are to make us better, not bitter. How I wish I were as strong as you. You make everything seem doable in life even when the impossible occurs. But I have your strong will inside of me. And I won't let it fade, instead I will make it shine.

I will make this right again, I will try my very best to focus on my studies. But I can't do this alone. God, please give me strength so that I can endeavor this bumpy road. It may seem that my problem is so small, but my heart is bruised. Let it heal, please.

CherryBee

20 : Those Words

2010-02-01T00:45:00.000-08:00

Okay I lied, now I am going to sleep. I'm gonna hug my hangel and imagine happy thoughts while going to sleep. I'm gonna picture him coming to me, hug me, kiss me on the cheek, and wipe my tears. Then he'll say "Everything will be alright. Goodnight." Where are you dear. I need you badly right now but you're not here and you can't be here. I miss you where ever you are.

CherryBee

19 : Urghh

2010-01-31T21:37:00.000-08:00

Urghh she has the nerve to write on my wall using his name. There's this thing called "Respect". Never heard of it? Let me make it clear. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Thanks, now I don't feel like doing my assignments anymore. Going to sleep now. Goodnight.

CherryBee

18 : Here Kitty Kitty

2010-01-31T08:01:00.000-08:00

I woke up and saw my hangel on the table rather than next to me. wth! Now that's freaky~~I think I woke up at 6am for like a few minutes and checked on my laptop, but I don't remember carrying hangel to the table. Hmm... Oh well not that freaky because hangel is a cutie little cat!

Yesterday we(the Malaysians) had this meeting for the upcoming cultural show. I must say sunlight was not on my side at that time. I was rather gloomy and moody. So I said I'm not gonna get involved, mainly because of something but I'm not gonna say it here. It might sounds childish. Lol. Then when they gave me the wrong size for the tshirt, I just exploded. I was like "Well I'm NOT gonna wear it then" while buckling my belt. "Snap!", I broke the buckle. Damn! I effing love that jacket. Great, Thanks guys for this. Grr.. Well I did text the president saying sorry for my behaviour but I'm not that guilty because I did ask for other size and I am paying for it. So yeah whatever.

Come on summer, hurry up! I wanna go home, I miss my family and friends so much. I wanna hug my mum :( I do have lots of friends here though but the stress from studying is making me feel non intelligent because everyone here is so smart.

CherryBee

17 : Permanent Marker!

2010-01-30T14:54:00.001-08:00

Fana gave me this song and asked me to write the letter "X" on "her" with a permanent marker. Lol. What a bitchy song. Thanks babe, this song is awesome and I effing love it. For sure will ;)

And my sis, Shasha thanks for the song "Tied Together with a Smile" you posted on facebook. I've listened to it and I love it so much. I know we weren't close before but when stuff like this happens, it surprisingly makes us closer. You know you are my only sister, and I love you. Thanks for everything and definitely thanks for being caring towards me!

16 : Gone but will never be forgotten

2010-01-30T12:47:00.000-08:00

To my friend who has just lost his childhood friend,

I'm sorry to hear what happened. I know it's hard for you have to go through this painful moment. Losing someone we love will never be easy. You told me to pray for your friend's recovery the other day and suddenly I heard that he's gone. I hope you will stay strong. The only thing we can do now is to always pray for him. I can't help but to think of myself in your shoes right now, what would I do. I went to sleep thinking about this and I had a dreamt of my dad. In that dream I cried so hard because I really miss him and I haven't been a good daughter lately. What I can do instead of reminiscing is to pray for him, and that will Insyaallah help him.

My friend, sometimes we can't help what has been planned by God. Have faith that God loves him more. If there's anything I can do to help you, please let me know. I will try my best. I've been in your position before and at that time my friends comforted me every single minute. As sad as I was, and still am, but at the same time I am grateful for His blessings on me with such kind people around all my family who constantly try to help us and pray for my dad. Seeing people sad especially when losing someone despairs me a lot. How I wish I could take your and everyone's pains away and tears from humans' eyes will never touch the earth again.

A reminder to myself, our lives are short. We will never know what is ahead of us. We can only plan, but God decides. And that to always care for your loved ones. Don't ever take them for granted even for a minute because you can never know when will you see them again. Maybe by then it's too late. Trust me, you don't want it to be too late. Because if it's too late, no matter how sorry you are or how many times you say you love that person, he or she will not know. That's the reason why I always say sorry when I have made mistakes, that is why I treasure the people I love in my life so much, and that's why I care for each and every single one of you who has been in my life. Take note, myself and everyone, let them know you love them and don't take them for granted, please.

Take care my friend, and be strong. Insyaallah, God will listen to your prayers.

CherryBee

15 : The Gateway

2010-01-30T12:27:00.000-08:00

Gosh Dexter, how could youuuu!!!! I know you've tried but why must you did that. You know it's best to leave Trinity Killer alone because you have a family! But no, you wanted to satisfy your self need and went after him anyway. Now look what has happened. Rita had been so sweet to you. She trusted you and more importantly she loved you. And on the night of your long delayed honeymoon, she go killed! It's all your fault. It's not fair! I always feel good after watching Dexter, but this time I cried! And it's gonna spoil my day. :(

Now I'm gonna start on new series to watch, How I Met Your Mother is on my list. I haven't been watching CSI for a while mainly because Grissom left the team and it's not as interesting as when he was around. But probably will start after midterm season or else I'm screwed! Either way, I'm just disappointed with Dexter. Hopefully there will be season 5 soon.

CherryBee

14 : La Serva Pradonna

2010-01-29T21:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I slept late finishing assignments for thermo and lab for circuits. I missed my 8.30am class but had to go for the next one at 11.30am. I'm used to not having enough sleep, but this week has been a major WOW! It's like non-stop from last Saturday. So in the lab today I wasn't really in a good mood. I was tired and hungry, so I kept quiet most of the time. The TA asked me what's wrong and gave me a lollipop to cheer me up. Gosh they all must think I'm a spoiled child for doing that but oh well. But then my lab partner, Tom rushed to get the lollipop and ate it in front of me! Come on Tom, I was HUNGRY! You should be grateful I didn't cry.

And I did something which I'm not sure whether it's right or wrong. I think it's right, because it felt right, and I know it's right. I guess because "it's" still there somehow. I just dont wanna perceive as just another person. To be sought only when needed. But when event like last night occurs, that's when I feel I am still the one, perhaps. Maybe not now, but sooner or later, who knows. After then I might be sought, eventually, hopefully. Though I must say I don't usually get what I wish for in this particular context. It's like haunting me, but it's making me smile. :)

P/s : I've spent nearly $21 on cab fares this week! Sorry people in Thornedale and Northfolk, I might have to consider coming after this or I'll be broke. Haha.

CherryBee

13 : Camouflage

2010-01-27T20:10:00.000-08:00

Sleepless night again. I realized yesterday that today is actually a test for course 2E04 instead of just a quiz. So as you might have guessed, I did what most desperate people would do, stay up late and rush through all the chapters without really trying to attempt the problem sets.

Lesson learnt for the infinite times, don't do last minute studying. Last weekend I spent my Sunday studying for 1AA3 so yeah I guess I should manage time better. My day wasn't that great. Apart from not getting enough sleep which eventually effects my mood, my heart feels "numb". I really don't know what to feel anymore.

Yesterday, well technically speaking this morning, was very brutal. The last time I remember someone said something so mean to me was early last year. And I never fought back. This time the vulgarity wasn't as bad as the last time, but insulting people is never right. This time the pain is completely different. It's not the feeling of heartbroken that occurs, it is more of the feelings of surprise, unexpected, disappointed, and empty.

Yes I should probably stop talking about this, but hey it is my blog so I guess pouring all my emotions out here is not a crime. :) Perhaps I shall present a list of "my characteristics" to the next guy, which is not predicted to happen until many many many years to come. I've tried to be the best person, the best friend, the best daughter, the best girl, and the best student. But in the end, it never seems to be enough. Not for humans, because they can never say it's enough.

I am sometimes childish, I am sometimes "gedik", I am sometimes annoying, I am sometimes picky, I am sometimes arrogant, I am sometimes spoiled, I am sometimes lazy, I am sometimes "too dependent" on the people I love. But hey that's me, and these characteristics are not what's making me, they're just little bits of emotions that exist in all of us. I admit I am really dependent on the people I love, because I enjoy the moment of being pampered.

Now that no one is pampering me (besides my awesome family and friends), I might as well pamper myself. What's next? I'm gonna get chocolates or ice cream or smoothies or better yet, I'm gonna bake cupcakes! Now that's a rejoice.

Aside : My little Hangel, you're so cuteeee! gRRr... I can't stand it, the cutest cat with wings ever! I love youu for letting me hug you everytime I go to sleep!

CherryBee

12 : DOUBLE SHITZ-DEEK

2010-01-27T01:17:00.000-08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mum says be nice. Mum says be patient. Mum says if people do bad things we dont have to follow them. Mum says if we keep quiet and be nice instead of cursing and bombing the F-word, we're actually winning. I'm doing this for you mum. And because of you, I will be strong and I will be patient.

Does it feel good to put people down? Does it feel good to feel you're winning? Does it feel awesome to make people cry? It does right? You feel like you're the most powerful person alive right?

I'm not you. I won't be like you. I don't ever wanna be like you. If people think they can fuck people around by pushing us around, putting us down, Well you can tell them to fuck themselves and kiss your fucking ass. Fucking shit I really don't swear this much but I have limits, and I learn we are fucking dumbass if we are too nice to people. Why? Because once you turn away, they will stab you in the HEART! from the back constantly until you have no more heart to beat, no more blood to bleed, and no more voice to scream!

CherryBee

11 : CHARMBRACELET

2010-01-25T07:07:00.000-08:00

I used to love weekends. Time to relax, time to talk to your loved ones for hours, time to linger around anywhere you wanna go, time to catch up with missed CSI and Dexter series, and time to feel happy.

Now weekends seem different. Now I'm sensing a dislike feeling of having to go through weekends. Weekends make me feel sad and constantly thinking of assignments and tests, although I can't seem to get my ass of my bed anyway.

I enjoy weekdays more than weekends eventhough I have to wake up early everyday and come home at 7-ish pm the earliest. The last minute work and sleepless nights are sick but somehow they never fail to make me realize there's so much more ahead of me. Midterm is approaching and I'm effing around doing meaningless things. Buckle up and get your coffee everyone.

Today is just another manic monday, enjoy your week!

CherryBee

10 : RADAR

2010-01-24T11:17:00.001-08:00

I am in Dilemma~

Should I get an IPOD or Nokie N97? If I get an IPOD that means I have to bring my phone+IPOD everytime I'm leaving the house. Which is a big no no because I'm a fan of simplicity. However, IPOD costs around $200 which is like $300 less than getting a new phone.

On the other hand, if I decided to go with Nokia N97, it costs me nearly $500! Although I must say that's quite a bargain, I'm not sure whether I can take care of such an expensive phone. But the phone is perfect except for the fact it doesn't have any pink screen saver background.

Last option is not to get any of them and just save money or go shopping. Well yeah sure my friends all say go shopping no doubt! Aww I miss going out shopping with my girls! Anyhow, this is confusing, which should I go with, what should I do, who should I listen to?? Alright that's enough, I should REALLY be worried about the upcoming tests and assignments rather than this. And MARA please send in my allowance, it's 23rd of the month already.

CherryBee

09 : Double Double

2010-01-20T18:39:00.000-08:00

FANA,

Sometimes I feel like I'm a pain in the ass for you. I'm sorry you have to listen to all my problems all the time or listen to my dexter updated story 24/7.

But I want you to know that I am so grateful to have a friend like you. I know sometimes I'm pissing you off with my attitude but thank you for still being nice to me.

What would I do if you're not here. Because you helped me a lot in this particular hard moment in my life and words can't never express my gratitude to you.

I consider you as one of my best friends and I see now why your life is so beautiful filled with happiness and success, because you are indeed a beautiful person inside and outside.

Love you. I wish you the best with him. xoxo

K. LYNN,

Although we rarely spend time together, but when we do it's awesome! That rocker chic inside of you definitely good especially when you support my anger towards someone. haha.

Technically speaking you're the only senior here but still you're the best senior ever! More like friends than senior actually. :P

And thanks for the sweet comments you always post to enlighten my day. I really appreciate it. You are such a kind hearted person although you can be crazy sometimes.

Love ya. xoxo.

CherryBee

08 : WHAT THE F!

2010-01-19T13:20:00.000-08:00

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!! I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT SWEET AND TRUTHFUL TO YOU AND NOW YOU'RE CALLING ME A LIAR!

DO YOU KNOW HOW BADLY YOU'VE MADE ME CRY! WAIT OF COURSE YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU'RE BUSY GEDIK-ING AROUND! OR BETTER YET MAKING AN EXCUSE BY CALLING ME FAKE!

IM HURTED! IM CRUSHED! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU? I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR US BUT THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND RUIN ALL OF THESE.

THE 'H' THAT I KNOW IS GONE. HE WANTS TO BE HERE BUT HE CAN'T. YOU'RE NOT HIM! YOU'RE SOMEONE ELSE, I DON'T KNOW YOU! YOU'RE A MURDERER! YOU CHASED ME, YOU CAUGHT ME, YOU TRAPPED ME, YOU LIED TO ME BY TELLING EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE, THEN YOU HURTED ME, SCARRED ME, AND LEFT ME TO BLEED.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, GOD IS FAIR AND I WILL STAND BY THAT. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AS LONG AS I'M BREATHING. WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID, I WISH YOU WELL!!!!

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE 'H' THAT I KNOW WHOM LOVES ME AND WILL NEVER HURT ME. BUT YOU, YOU'RE JUST IN DISGUISE!

AARRGHHH THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER CRY FOR YOU!

07 : Epitaxy

2010-01-18T20:22:00.000-08:00

Zzz Zzz Zzz..

I officially have to life. Not to say that I've been working my ass hard this term, but I haven't gotten enough sleep since last winter break. Reading week, please come! I need entertainment as in going out of this house for a change.

Me and Fana went to see Dr. LaPierre at his office this morning and he is such a nice guy. I'm positively sure with p value of 1 that Fana is in love with him. Alert! Alert! He's wearing a wedding ring Fana, he's happily married with one of the luckiest women alive. Bummer. Like she said, slot 2, 3 and 4 are still open. Haha. I think you have to convert him to being a Muslim first Fana before those slots are up for grab.

Oh newsflash! I added "her". Why not? She seems nice, and I'm nice to her too. No harm done, everyone is happy. The contents of the profile are not so amusing though but I manage to go through all of them without cursing. Yay! Pat in the back for me. (^.^)

I do admit I encounter a mixture of feelings. Like a bowl of marble cake's mixture. You basically put in all sort of colours you want; black(sadness), red(anger), yellow(numb) and so on. Dip a knife and make a swirl around the batter. That's how it feels. Yeah random but marble cake does sound good especially with ice cream on the side. Oh how I miss baking with my dearest Mak..

Chatted with my mum and told her about my wish of owning a new phone. The conversation

went on and on and then she said "when do you need the money?tomorrow?". I was astonished! I didn't expect that from her, especially knowing how she wants me to feel better when she said "it's better for you to cry out of happiness than to cry for boys". Aww Mak, I miss you and thank you for being the bestest mum ever. :)

A Midnight murder. He chased you. He caught you. He hurted you. He abandoned you. But you, will always suffer from pain and trauma.

CherryBee

06 : Symphony

2010-01-18T17:21:00.000-08:00

Sundae Sunday.

Lazying around, more Dexter, golden globes, groceries, internet and sleep. haha. I called it chillex-ing day, don't be jealous. :D

He texted me. :O Excited? Scared? Nervous? AAAA.. If only I could turn back time.

CherryBee

05 : Fire Ball

2010-01-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

Busy Busy Week!

This week I went to school almost everyday at 8am and came back home after 10pm. Ain't that crazy?
Monday - went to Fana's religious studies class
Tuesday - Asian in FOCUS meet up night
Wednesday - MSA(Muslim Students Association) talk
Thursday - Music class and hangout with Agnita
Friday - Lab and Usrah and hang out with friends
Saturday - Library and assignments and Subway

Wow I can say my week is pretty much filled with activities. Now for the laziest part, doing assignments and studying. Gahh.. Put on your thinking cap Sabrina and let's roll! Hope you guys are having an awesome weekend. Words of encouragement for myself and all of you! :)

Think before you make up your mind
You don't seem to realize
I can do this on my own
And if I fall I'll take it all
It's so easy after all

Believe me cuz now it's time to try
Don't wait the chance will pass you by
Time's out to figure it out
You can't say it's too late

CherryBee

04 : Clandestine

2010-01-16T01:26:00.000-08:00

At here for shall we part,

despite the yearning heart.

Define our boundaries here,

our fate seems crystal clear.

Led life our separate ways,

weep for the passing days.

My world now has turned dark,

life lies a question mark.

I guess this meant goodbye,

Deep down my heart still cries.

03 : Ballroom

2010-01-14T12:42:00.000-08:00

Some people might say life sucks
or life is full of shit
While other people say life is beautiful
or life is full of surprises
I must say, I agree with all those
Life is whatever you think of it.. and everything you think of it
Life is what you make of it and what you say of it

Life is about sadness
Life is about happiness
Life is about pain
Life is miserable
Life is about loss
Life is about smiling
Life is about crying
Life is about love
Life is about laughter
Life is about learning from your mistakes
Life is horrible
Life is dumb
Life is awesome
Life is depression
Life is tears
Life is sorrow
Life is anxiety
Life is Bullshit
Life is spectacular
Life is being with people you love
Life sucks

I could go on and on and tell you all about life
But I'm not here to sort this out for you
Because
Life is all about you and how you treat it
You criticize it.. Well you're actually criticizing yourself
You hate it, You like it, You love it. It's all up to you
Life is YOU so be careful how you describe it.

( I personally hate people who keep complaining about life. Honestly sometimes I do feel life is challenging, but sometimes I feel life is beautiful. Either way, don't ever complain about life. Cry, laugh, smile, scream, or even punch your bedroom wall. But then pick up all the pieces and put them back together.

My life is definitely like a roller-coaster ride and I'm about to reach the peak of it. Why? Because that's the scariest and the hardest part. Hey you need to have normal force bigger than gravity or else you'll fall. However, it promises you one thing, you will get through it and eventually enjoy it. )

p/s : I miss all of you guys. I wish everyone is here to make me feel better instantly. xoxo ;)

CherryBee

02 : Twin Paradox

2010-01-13T15:05:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought my life couldn't get any harder, I'm excited to find out our TA's for this term are just amazingly good looking. *blushing* My lab assistant for Thermodynamics lab, Mathew Ball, I think, is easy to say simply handsome. Alright, I admit I went through the course website just to find out his real name. He was wearing this black coat that reminds me so much of Marc Darcy. How adorable~ That should keep me motivated during the lab!

Apart from that, in Math 2ZZ3 tutorial today, our TA turn out to be a cute and amazingly intelligent guy! He looks young and I must say he is very well mannered through out the class not to mention his great sense of humour. Wow, if only this world consists people of those two types I just mentioned; good looking, intelligent, well-mannered, and nice!

Other than that, I must mention also my course coordinator for Music 1AA3, Joe Argentino is gorgeous as well! He always makes the lecture so interesting and I can listen to his lectures for hours. Too bad Music 1AA3 is just my elective course though. I should try getting theirs pictures so that you guys can judge for yourself. Haha now that's just creepy. And NO I won't do that unless it invloves life or death matter, then why not eh.

Hm, I'm sensing a bit of vulnerability in me now. I mean when you're hurted, you tend to easily have crush on others. But this is a exception! I'm in Love with them and it is better this way because I will not skip classes, have something to look forward everyday, and won't end up getting hurted. YAY! <3 I Love My University *wink* Goodnight Hamilton!

Remember "when one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us". So let us find the opened door to happiness and walk through it. Happiness is an abstract but I believe we can find it anywhere as long as we tell ourselves to be happy.

CherryBee

01 : Missing wedding ring

2010-01-12T20:02:00.000-08:00

Today started with the lazy feeling of waking up as usual when you have 8.30am class. I don't know how long I can keep up with it but hopefully until end of the term. Not much interesting happening in class except I got the same lab partner, Tom, both for "electricity and magnetism" lab and "thermodynamics" lab. He looked so sleepy and this was as far as our conversation went.

Tom : "Lab partner again?"
Sabrina : "Sure!...."
"Is this the first class for you?" (now is the second week)
Tom : "Yeahhh.."
Sabrina : "Where have you been?!"
Tom : "I've been sleeping! I just woke up and rushed here."

What?? Seriously Tom how do you manage not coming to class, even last year, but still obtained good results?! Before that me and Fana were late to labs because the bus came late and we were like thinking of getting a gun and say to the driver "Drive now! Faster! Faster!". That will be wicked!

Anyhow, got home and watched Dexter again. Yeah dull me, but hey he makes me happy! Someone is trying to kill him now, but nobody messes with Dexter! He will escape and eventually find you.

Later that night there was this event called "Asian in Focus General Meeting". I wasn't thinking of going but I figured what the heck. At least you get your mind off something else. So I went there and not surprisingly all of them were chinese. At the entrance Fana was like "Oh we're Asians". Lol at that statement.

So started out by playing pool. This is my second time EVER playing pool and I never hit any ball before. But this caucasian guy, Chris, taught me how to play it and I think I'm good at it! The question is though, why was he the only caucasian guy there!

Afterwards we played lots of "interesting" games. There are a few but I am not going to mention all though. The first game involves three groups. You have to pass a banana from the front to the back of the line. The fastest team wins. Sounds simple right. Only that the first person has to put the banana between his legs and the second person has to transfer it using the neck and put it between the next person's legs. Also the group members are aligned alternate in gender. You get the picture? A guy starts with a banana between his legs, girl grabs it with her neck, girl puts it between the next guy's legs. How disturbing. Haha.

Since it took me a whole paragraph to explain one game, I think I am going to leave it there only. Other games are just as disturbing as that but you guys can find out later when I host an event. ;)

Well I guess that's it for today, let me end today's beautiful weather with a quote that says "Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by".

Do not dwell in sadness all the time as it will kill you from the inside, slowly. Think about the little things that make life great and find joy and happiness in any way possible so that you will always wake up with a smile on your face. :)

CherryBee

00 : Fourier

2010-01-11T18:19:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up at 7.00am. That is considered peculiar to me since my class starts at 10.30am, but that will do. I've developed flu and sore throat yesterday and now it feels like I'm catching a fever. Don't panic! Luckily my mum packed me a whole lot of medications for all type of sickness, Thanks MUM. Later that afternoon I went for my hearing session. I had to defend my case on the assignments where me and one of my friends over here received a penalty of 0. It's a long story but basically he copied and pasted the solutions, and now we both got 0 for an assignment that's worth 5%. I told them the truth and admitted my fault of willingly lending my soft copy solution to him. Whether the Adjudicator will approve it or not, it is to be determined later. I've tried my best in obtaining the marks that I worked so hard for and I'm going to be satisfied with whatever the outcome is.

In class 2E04 (circuits), the guys in my class wouldn't stop making jokes at our professor. I know he's from Japan (I'm assuming) and he's accent is weird but come on guys, this is week 2 already. I find it kind of rude if you keep laughing at him. But I do admit it tickles me hearing him referring "current source" as "CUM source". Haha. Dirty minded people we have here. Music class was fun, we were listening to Symphony No.45, III by Mozart and I am officially in love with Classical Era music. However, identifying when the minuet key of AA BBAA and trio CC DD is challenging enough not to mention we have to memorize the history of it. Hey, this is the reason why we're here anyway, to STUDY. Do not ever forget that.

I'm watching my Dexter now while having honey oats cereal. Better hit the sack soon, my class starts at 8.30am tomorrow. I miss talking to my mum and she hasn't been online for a while now. The last time I talked to her was on Wednesday or Thursday. I miss you Mak, Lukey, n Kakak. Goodnight. :)

CherryBee

Day 8 : The Final Ceremony

2010-01-10T11:53:00.000-08:00

Hrz,

Happy 21st Birthday! May your life will be blessed always by God and that it is filled with nothing but joy and happiness. I sent him the last letter wishing him a Happy Birthday. I do admit letting these all go makes my heart sore. This is a melancholic story. But I know this is the best and the right thing to do right now. Let us both focus on studies.

If we're destined to be together, fate will bring us in the end. I will always pray for your success and happiness. Do know that I will always be your friend, and that if you need anything just let me know. I will try my best to always be there for you. Having Hangel around makes me happy and I will take care of it until forever.

Love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up, and never truly move on. Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what's left of your heart that they feel the same.

Take care and do enjoy your day. You turn 21 once only in your life and let it be a good one. I love you. Goodbye.

CherryBee

Day 7 : Sweet N' Sour

2010-01-10T11:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we had a bit of an arguement where he still accuses me of lying. I really don't know what else to do. I've sent an email explaining everything single thing I remember happening that night. Maybe there're parts I forgot to mention but honestly if I remember I would tell you. I don't know whether this is just a reason to let me go. But I sure hope not. I said to him tonight at 12am I'm gonna give him a call. 10th January is this 21st Birthday. I said to him if he still cares about this, just pick up the phone. If he doesn't or still thinking, then just ignore the call. Of course he's not obliged to any of my askings but it will shed some light to this current confusing situation I'm in.

Before I went to sleep, I was thinking about what he said. Yes, maybe he's right. Maybe I'm being selfish all along. I should have let him have his time alone. We all need it right now especially when everything seems so out of place with another party involving. As much as I'm trying to fix it, I must admit we need to be alone for the moment. When you're wounded, the cut will heal itself but it takes time. You can take any form of medication, but it will not heal instantly. Same applies to here. The story though, will have either 2 of these endings. The wound heals and you're good to go, or the damage is permanent that you will have to live with it for the rest of your life.

Non related : Yesterday I went for some groceries shopping and I got my honey cereal! I was really tempted to get the baby cereal but I figured I'll get it once I'm finished with the cereal. Ahh life seems so easy with "Dexter" on my laptop playing the series and cereal+milk in my bowl. Can I get a hooray?

CherryBee

Day 6 : Bipolar

2010-01-09T11:51:00.000-08:00

Should probably be day 7 but I didn't have time to write any yesterday so here goes.

Today was a very busy day. Woke up early and headed to class. While waiting for the second class, I went over to the library and sat there. I guess I really couldn't be left alone even for 5 minutes. I began reminiscing again about "him" and me. "Im not gonna cry. I won't cry." I really don't know how my body system works but apparently the water contain in me is overloaded as I manage to cry heavily everyday since last week. If I would to collect all the tears that flow out of my eyes, I would fill up a whole tub! I turned on the song "Goodbye to you" by Michelle Branch.

The lyrics "You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold on to" really matches what I'm feeling at this particular moment. Resting my head on the table, I cried again. My friend, Farhanah, who has been helping me since the first day, came to me and gave me a warm hug. For everything that has happened, I can't deny I am still blessed as I have so many people around me to make me happy and always be there for me.

That night we had this religious discussion called "usrah" among the Malaysians students. The topic is "Challenges in Life". Gosh what a coincidence! I have to say this discussion helps me in a way especially when it came to the question "Why can't we get something that we really want although we try so hard to get it?". In the holy Quran, it says "It may be that you hate something when it is good for you, and it may be that you love something when it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know." (Surat al-Baqara, 216)

Never crosses my mind that you're bad for me, but like it says there, Allah knows better. Maybe it is better for you, maybe it is better for me. I have to learn to accept the fact that everything happens for a reason even when I had tied the camel. Who knows, maybe we're not together now but could be in the future we will meet each other again. Only God knows. Don't ever lose faith.

CherryBee

Deela's 21st Bday!

2010-01-07T21:16:00.000-08:00

My hot and sexy Deela, Happy 21st Birthday Babe! You're legal now. You can basically do anything!

Smoke, gamble, speed, clubs, weed, drink, and most importantly GET MARRIED. :)

Haha just kidding, don't do things I don't do alright. Party n Play Safe~

Thank you so much for being there for me always, you know I love you a lot.

I can't wait to see you and hope you have an amazing birthday!

Remember I'm always there for you. Just give me a call or a text when you feel like to okay?

xoxo

CherryBee~

Day 5 : Contaminated

2010-01-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

Today was pretty exhausting. Got home at around 11pm. The best part was the visit to the nuclear reactor that has been built for nearly 51 years. It was awesome! You feel like you're a part of the engineers society eventhough you have 2 more years to go. But this will definitely boost up my determination to achieve my goal. Anyhow, in the circuit class today the lecturer said that eventhough for an ideal capacitor circuit you will have a circuit consists of only the capacitor and the power source, but in the real situation you will have a circuit of both capacitor and resistor. Capacitor alone will not work and resistor is the other element that will complete the circuit. Snap! I was thinking to myself, this can be applied in our daily lives. In fact, it is happening to me. Yes, it is ideal to be or live alone, but it is not real. You have to have the other person to make it real. To make the current flows. To make your life complete. He said to me "two is better than one". And it is true, but "two" has to consist of two individuals who mutually love each other. As much as I'm hurting right now not knowing what's happening there, I guess I still have the feeling of wanting him back. The feeling of hoping. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way but I don't know how long will this last. Somehow deep inside of me, I know you still love me. I just hope you can see that.

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, pain of love lasts a lifetime. Why dear.. why.. Is "I miss you" not enough? or Is "I love you" not enough? Or is it the word "Goodbye" you're longing to hear. Please tell me, so that I can say the right word for your ears to hear.

CherryBee

Day 4 : Radiation Decay

2010-01-06T11:42:00.000-08:00

In class today we learnt that everything in this universe will eventually decay due to accelerating mass or charge. So in other word, our universe will eventually die out one day. Eventhough the mass (gravitational decay) is negligible to our solar system,it is important when we consider blackhole or the supernova. It turns out even the classical mechanics that has been used for hundreds of years is not enough to explain the stability of our orbits. Hah,how ridiculous it that. But yeah I figured,before our universe will completely decay there're more problems to be worried about (the sun etc). It goes to show that nothing lasts forever. Even love? I had a talk with my mum yesterday. She makes me feel better, but she knows I'm hurting so she said to give it time. I told her I love "him" still and I'm still hoping, hoping for a change that is easy to say won't happen I guess. Everytime I talk about this I'll get all teary. Too many memories together. Too many reasons to start all over again. Too much love to be erased. How is he doing over there? What he is doing over there? Is he happy in the arms of another girl? Or is he thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about him? My life is like an unanswered question. Strings of days and nights waiting for a answer. A reply.

"Don't let someone become your everything, because when they're gone you have nothing."
- I let you be my everything, and if you go I will have nothing. Yes true I still have my family and friends whom I love a lot, but you are the other half of my heart. By any logic that exists in this world, no human can live with only one half of the heart. ILY Always.

CherryBee

Killing is an obsession

2010-01-05T16:08:00.000-08:00

One of my new year resolutions is to finish watching Dexter season 3 and 4. And the story keeps getting better and better. You see, Dexter is a nice guy but he just has an obsession with killing. Not that I'm saying killing is good but he kills only the bad guys. Now at one point he is doing the world a favour but at the same time, taking someone else's life is still wrong no matter how bad the person is (unless it is self defence). Up until now he still can't get that obsession away. They say old habit dies hard. The point is, how can someone so nice turn completely into a different character. When he kills his victims (recall they are all murderers), he will show no mercy. As he stabs the knife in the victim's neck, his eyes show satisfaction like a craving kid finally gets his chocolate ice cream he always wanted. Blood splatters all over him and he loves it by showing a big grin on his face. Okay I probably should stop describing that as people might think I like seeing all these stuff. As a matter of fact, I don't. But I like to watch it because the bad guys deserve it. Hey, an eye for an eye. So after all the killing is done, he goes back home to his wife and show her nothing but great care and compassion. Goes to show we can't trust anyone in the world right now. Small lies are acceptable but big lies are just crazy. Dexter, you're my hero!

CherryBee

Je taime

2010-01-05T07:25:00.000-08:00

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be.

- We decided to have our time off. You decided to let me go. I decided to come back to you. The next line is to be filled by you.

CherryBee

Day 3 : Forgive me for missing you

2010-01-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

I had a dream. A dream of you and me where we were so happy being together and that nothing will get in our way. I woke up feeling happy until I realized that it was all a fantasy. "Damn it", I thought to myself. Sometimes you just don't want to wake up because your dream is better than the reality. But of course, unless you're falling in and enjoying each moment, you wouldn't even want to sleep because reality seems so much better than dreams. I texted him again saying I miss him, but I guess he's not going to reply that. Maybe someone else there is making him happy and I'm just a person who should just leave him alone. But I'm not going to stop fighting. The phrase "Shoot for the moon" has been in my mind over and over again. The phrase that he always used to me. I remember he said that it's better to lose something when you have tried your best to get it, than not to try at all. And I wan't him to know that I'm not going to stop fighting for him. I don't know how many times do I have to say this to myself, but I wan't you back. I miss you. Just come back to me and we can just forget all the bad memories behind. The future is ahead of us and looking back is not going to do anyone any good. Yesterday he was angry with me about something which I am not very clear of why. He said he thought he was a bad liar ; which indicates to him that I am a bad liar. The thing is with me, I rarely lie. And I certainly do not lie to people whom I love. I even told my mum I'm staying at his place, well provided that his housemates were all there. The point is I'm not lying and I really don't get it what he's trying to say. I shouldn't make it any harder for him as he has exam coming up. But yeah, study smart dearie. I know you can do it. But you gotta spend less time on dota and watching one tree hill alright?

I'm sorry for missing you. I'm sorry for thinking of you. I'm sorry for needing you. I'm sorry for wanting you. I'm sorry for loving you.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, loves someone else. But deep in me, I know you still love me. ILY.

CherryBee

Mirror mirror, hanging on the wall, you don't have to tell me who's missing him the most of all

2010-01-04T16:43:00.000-08:00

What would I do if you leave me?
I'd miss you, I believe
That's what I'd do if you leave me
Emotions are kept under my sleeve
So my prayers to you I'd give

Please stay a bit longer
For I may see you again never
And you leaving isn't for the better
Surely I'd miss you sooner or later

Everyday I miss you more and more
It makes my heart feel so sore
Thinking of the way things were,
I'd like to go back
to the times we had before.

(Femi Escalante)

Hope you're doing fine over there focusing on your studies. IMY.

CherryBee~

Day 2 : Love Bites!

2010-01-04T09:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I couldn't sleep. I was so sleepy but my eyes won't shut. I found myself crying again in my bed. I added this girl from his place. She's a friend of my friend, and we met during winter break. Going through her pictures stirred my emotions; both happy and sad. She's been with her boyfriend for 7 years and they look so happy together. I began smiling. Wow, how beautiful love is when you're with that special someone. Under this one particular album, I saw "him" with "her" getting cozy together, holding hands, hugging, and doing stuff what me and "him" would normally do. I thought to myself, "It's okay Sabrina, this is the past. He said he loves you. He said he made mistakes and he was sorry. Forget about these pictures. Just forget it and go to sleep. You know best what he said to you and that should be enough". But I'm just human, I began weeping and holding my little "hangel" with me, I cried myself to sleep. This morning, I was thinking of skipping class. What's the point of going if you know you're not going to pay any attention and your mind will wonder off somewhere else. But I finally got up at 9.30 and took my bath. My eyes were teary again before entering the class. "Hah, why does life have to be so hard.." Ayesha called me afterwards and she was comforting me. Thanks Ayesha, you mean a lot to me. I guess I shouldn't be complaining about life when there are so many bigger problems in this world. But this is what I learnt from all these experiences, "Living is good, but life itself is hard". Choose to have faith in God and know that God has planned many more great things to happen in your life.

CherryBee~

Hot As Ice

2010-01-03T20:20:00.000-08:00

I know I said I had lots of ups and downs during the winter break. But there were some joyful moments captured on camera and looking at them makes me smile. I baked nearly 80 cupcakes for 2 days. Lol, now that's obsession. haha. And I had the best and the worst New Year. I know, you're thinking how the heck is that possible, both totally contradict but trust me on that. Thank you my Dear and Wancu (and Uncle David and Nora), for the time you guys spent on me. Conclusion : I wish for another holiday to enjoy with my loved ones. *Praying and hoping*

CherryBee

A Better Tomorrow

2010-01-03T19:58:00.000-08:00

I never knew there would be a better tomorrow
But you've come into my life and taken away all my sorrow

My days of sadness are a thing of the past
Because I have found true love at last

My days of emptiness are gone for good
Because you fill a void in my heart that you should

You've opened the window
You've shown me the light
And my love for you will continue to burn bright.

-Yvonne Warren

p/s : You know who you are. ILY

Day 1 : Miserable at its best

2010-01-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

Day 1 after winter break is not easy. Especially when I've been through lots of ups and downs during the last 11 days. But in the end I find myself loving and missing him every single minute. I cried non-stop since last friday night. My eyes are swollen and my mind is always thinking. If I were given a choice, I would choose to stay. To be by yourside and do what we do best; making us happy. What is exactly the meaning of "time off"? Well given a field of soccer players, time off will mean that they need a break to relax after a long and tiring work. After that, they will continue on with the game. But when it comes to relationships, does that mean we will continue where we last stopped? Does it mean it is worth the waiting? I can wait, I will wait for you. Just tell me you'll come back to me after your "time off" because I will be right here waiting, hoping. Meeting you was fate, and becoming your friend was a choice. But dear, falling in love with you is something I had no control over, and will never do. I miss you so much.

CherryBee